On Womanhood
Firstly, I'd like to apologise for my absence of late - life and general laziness have been getting in the way, which isn't a reasonable excuse but it's all I've got.
Now, onto the blog post: Womanhood. Sorry to any of my male readers, this is going to be a BIG, lady-thought filled post.
Photo by Terr-Bo
So tonight as I sat upon the bathroom bench shaving my legs using my fiance's shaving cream and razor (sorry, Lover) I began to contemplate my femininity.
It's been ages since I've shaved my legs. I always tell myself I'll do it every week like I used to when I was 17 but then I forget or I bake cupcakes or play Xbox 360 (the new sexy black one!) and it just never gets done. So, today after I had finished baking cupcakes I decided it was about time.
As I sliced through thick white cream like a plough through snow, I recalled an occasion in my 15th year - discussing the Christmas-just-past with some friends from high school. As we listed off the things we did and the gifts we received, both girls said they had received a ladies shaving pack from their mothers.
"What a shit present!" I thought at the time, "I'm glad my Mum gave me an Xbox game instead." It seemed such a bizarre thing for a mother to gift to a daughter. A shaving pack? Were their mothers' trying to hint that they were getting a bit hairy? We were all of the 14-15 age and had been shaving our legs since we were 12 so the removal of body hair wasn't a new concept to us.
Thinking back to it now, I feel like that shaving pack was like some modern rite of womanhood. You're a woman now, and you're going to start dating and wanting babies soon, so here. Have a pretty pink razor, just for you! No more disposables for you, young lady!
I never got a shaving pack from my Mum, but I was never really a girl. Of course, biologically I was. I had all the right bits and I had a girl's name but I never dressed like a girl or spoke like a girl and I didn't really think like a girl. I liked Pokemon cards and dragon ball Z and kung-fu fighting and wearing cargo pants (God did I love cargo pants).
My mother left when I was 12, as I was on the cusp of womanhood. I don't blame her - it was a choice of leaving or having a mental break-down and going homicidal or something like that. I do not regret or wish that she hadn't left when she did and I know she did it for the right reasons. Self preservation is a natural instinct.
Whenever I stop to wonder if Mum leaving when she did has somehow stunted my development into a Lady, I only need to remember that I was a bratty little tomboy well before my parents separated. As a child, I detested the thought of 'growing into a woman'. Periods? Hell no! I wanted to trade cards with boys and play with dinosaur toys.
Even when I started to take an interest in boys (Oh gosh I embarrassed myself so much in front of boys!) I realise now that even though I wanted to date them I never had any ambitions of... doing anything. In fact I never even fantasized about kissing a boy until I was 15 or 16. I guess I just wanted the company and to feel normal. Regular girls dated boys. I suppose I should have too.
Regular girls also dressed in pretty, trendy clothes. I tried to as well. I went into city beach and picked out what I thought looked trendy (from the sale rack of course. Fuck spending $60 on a pair of jeans) but I never looked right. The colours didn't work or I was a season behind or they didn't suit my (continually expanding) figure.
So I stopped trying. I gave up trying to be a regular girl who wears regular clothes and dates regular boys. I dyed my hair black and I wore men's cargo pants and I chased boys with piercings (with little success). I didn't even start wearing make-up until I was almost 17.
Of course, I gradually started to become more feminine. Skirts began to creep into my wardrobe. My boobs began to make more of an appearance. I even went to the school formal - with LIPSTICK on! Good grief! I wore high heels!
Even now, as a 22 year old, I feel as though I am a hermaphrodite in personality. I do some ridiculously girly things like baking cupcakes and wearing heels to special occasions and gossiping like a fierce bitch. I had a manicure and fake nails for the first time last year... but by the same token, 90% of my friends are men (who fear my pseudo penis), I cuss like a sailor and at home I burp when I want, fart when I want and scratch when I want.
G.Louise
And despite all this... I am deliriously happy with myself. I look at faceless, boring girly-girls who PAY to go to see romantic comedies and buy those ridiculous fucking cosmo magazines and I feel so glad I'm not like them. Whatever floats your boat, you know? Maybe if I were one of those girls I would be happy anyway, but I'm comfortable enough with myself to not bother trying.
...
I do own a lot of shoes though.
Glitter & Gunpowder,
Posted on Sunday August 29 2010
1 comments
Learning
Over the weekend I learnt about compromise and sacrifice in a relationship.
I had always thought that Lover and I were pretty equal in our relationship and that we had achieved an even push-and-pull style of fairness in which we both get what we want.
I was wrong.
Lover and I have been tossing about the idea of an overseas holiday for some time. Since I am not able to take any paid holiday leave until at least February, we've been building on the idea of going across to KL, Mayalsia for a 3 days visit (which would mean I wouldn't have to take time off work).
We had even started saving for it. Our next task was to flesh out details, pick a date and get our passports underway.
Shortly after, I found out that there is going to be an Audrey Kawasaki showing in Melbourne in October of this year. I realised that we can't do KL *and* Melbourne on our budget. It would have to be one or the other.
Lover, ever the sweet soul, said we could go to Melbourne so that I could go to the show. Initially I was overjoyed and began to plan the trip. I love Melbourne and have been aching to return, and coupled with the promise of an Audrey Kawasaki show I was very excited.
I was so preoccupied that I almost didn't notice that my dear one didn't seem as pumped about the trip as I did. After probing some more I found out he didn't want to go - that he was only going along with it because it would make me happy.
I got sad, he got sad, and we talked. A lot. I realised that in our relationship I have never made a compromise for him. I mean an actual compromise, not just a 'we'll have what you want for dinner tonight' type of compromise. Lover has always gone along with what I want because, as he put it, "When you are happy, I am happy."
That isn't how a relationship is supposed to work, and I feel ashamed of myself for being in a partnership for 4 and 1/2 years without picking up on this.
So I cancelled the trip to Melbourne. I don't mind that I won't be able to go to Audrey Kawasaki's show. I know in my heart that I will see her work in person one day and that is enough for me.
I actually feel happier this way. I know that I am not emotionally blackmailing the most important person in my life into doing something that he doesn't want to do.
It feels amazing, actually. I feel like we are stronger and better for it.
Glitter & Gunpowder,
Posted on Tuesday July 27 2010
9 comments
I know
I suck for letting this fall by the wayside. Life has been busy, up and down and all around. I have a new project I'm working on and when I get the time and energy I'll do a proper entry and upload pictures :)
Love love!!
Glitter & Gunpowder
Posted on Tuesday July 06 2010
73 comments
New works
I'm super sleepy ladies and gents but I just wanted to pop in and let you know that there's some new work in the design section!
Glitter & Gunpowder
Posted on Monday June 07 2010
72 comments
Welcome to a long overdue ArtPerve. I've spent the last few weeks researching and developing ideas to improve my craft. I find it strange that I do it now, of my own choosing, when in high school and university I hated being asked to research artists.
It is my suspicion that this had a lot to do with being forced to research artists who were either a) already dead or b) just about dead. I have far more interest in contemporary artists, particularly painters. Those of you who perused my list favourite artists in my last post will already be well aware of this.
And so I would like to cover an artist who I've only discovered very recently. His work is ethereal, warm and beautiful and so clean. I adore it. Most of the pieces are studies of young women (another common theme amongst my preferred viewings).
He is Lu Cong and he's fucking brilliant.
Lu Cong is a Chinese-born an American artist and that's about all I know. His website is wonderfully minimalistic, dedicated solely to his paintings and his artist statement.
He portrays a variety of young women, and occasionally young men or children. The portraits are warm and smooth, filled with tans, chocolates, and beige, then tightened up with a sprinkling of soft colour to add depth and dimension. There is an unusual ethereal quality about the paintings, as if the girls are on a higher plane than we mere mortals.
See for yourself.
You can find more of Lu Cong's work at www.lucong.com.
Glitter & Gunpowder,
Posted on Sunday June 06 2010
10371 comments
Art Pet Hates
Photo by Magicdude Photography
Everyone has pet hates. It's one of the things that makes us individual and unique from others, yet at the same time can unite two otherwise completely different people.
I hate loose hairs. I can't stand 'text' talk. And lately more and more I've been noticing I have particular pet hates that relate specifically to art.
These don't necessarily mean the art is bad, there is just something about them that annoys me. This is all down to personal opinion.
So here is a list of my current art pet hates. I've no doubt they'll differ greatly to what other peoples' hates are.
1. Graffiti Art/Street Art
Don't get me wrong. Normally I am the first person to defend graffiti art. There are so many beautiful pieces of work around and when I consider that most of that art is probably done in the dark, in a hurry and with the fear of being caught the complexity of it astounds me.
But lately it seems that the elements that make street art special - it technically being illegal, being in public places, being a sort of vigilante emblem of artistic freedom - are being forgotten and brushed aside as street art becomes main stream and popular. Street art and graffiti art are being used in clothing design, accessory design, shoe design... it's used in flyers, websites, business cards... even local government youth orientated programs use it in their advertising.
And it never seems as real or as passionate. It seems like they found a street artist, offered him or her a big wad of cash and said "Do what you just did on all these things we can sell".
At least that how I imagined it happening.
It's not like I am against artists being successful and recognised for their work. Believe me, I am all about that! I hope that one day I will be good enough to reach the dizzying height of 'successful artist', but at what point do you draw the line? I think if my work was on t-shirts and shoes and then mimicked by hundreds of other people just to turn a buck I would be mortified.
Street art seems to be so dizzingly popular and the line continues to blur - more and more art is considered to be street or graffiti art. There's a local galley in the Valley called The Fort. I've never been in there, mostly because all I ever see in the windows is graffiti and street art. I think this may have something to do with the other stores that have leased spaces inside though...
All of this makes me wonder what all these artist are going to do when the fad passes.
2. The 'posterize' painting.
I'm going to pick on Joey Maas for this one only because every time I visit Nubby Twiglet's Blog I am reminded of this art style that annoys me. I know I've seen others who paint like this but I can't think of them right now.
His paintings tend to be of famous or well-known individuals and are done in acrylic paint. They're quite photo-realistic and look like they would be pretty difficult to do. I know I couldn't do it.
But they always remind me of the 'posterize' filter in photoshop. I can't help it, and it annoys me. Even though I know it was difficult and the artist put effort and time into it but whenever I see this art style my brain immediately thinks "I could do that in 2 seconds in photoshop."
Isn't that an awful way to think? How disrespectful! I hope nobody thinks that way about my paintings (although they probably do).
Let me show you what I'm talking about here:
Painstakingly crafted acrylic portrait:
(Again, I am picking on Mister Maas)
Less than a minute in Photoshop:
(Desaturate>Contrast>Posterize)
It just doesn't sit with me. I guess the paintings I really like are the ones that make me stop and go "How the FUCK did they do that?"... If I can think of an immediate way to mimic the painting it annoys me. Although to Joey's credit here, I don't actually know how he did these in real life. Sure, I can do it in photoshop but I'm pretty clueless as to how he got such clean lines on canvas. Maybe he uses stencils?
3. Vinyl toys and miniatures.
I'm just fucking sick of them. Expensive and the art market is over-saturated with them. Next please.
4. Everyone who says that Mark Ryden is their favourite artist ever.
Please, for the love of god, expand your horizons a bit. Yes, Mark Ryden is very cool and creepy but the magic was somewhat killed for me when every emo/gawfik/hardxcore 16 year old's myspace is plastered with his paintings.
I admire the style and the talent... just not the followers. Actually, I think this 'disliking things that are popular' is a bad habit of mine. I can't help it - which brings me to my next pet hate:
5. Andy Warhol.
Okay, please fuck off with the Andy Warhol stuff being everywhere. Every single time I'm with someone who sees something remotely pop art they say "Oh that's so Andy Warhol."
For the sake of friendship, I refrain from giving them a smack and telling them that Andy Warhol wasn't the only motherfucking pop artist ever to walk the earth. Everyone seems to be obsessed with Warhol ever since there was an exhibition of his in Brisbane (which I didn't go to, because frankly I wasn't a fan of Warhol to begin with).
Every time I go into Borders, or Dymmocks or any other bookstore to browse the art section there's like 70+ Warhol books, 5 anime books and maybe 1 book on Frieda Kahlo. If actually want to find something of interest to me then I have to go browsing the comic book stores.
*Whew*
Well that was a refreshing vent. Keep in mind, however, that all of this comes from the point of view of someone who has sold a total of 1 painting her lifetime. I have no idea what it is to be a successful artist and what you need to do to stay there. If people like your art and they're paying for it, why would you deviate from that path? Of course, there is always room for creative expression and expansion but if you're happy, they're happy and the bills are happy why would you care what nay-sayers like me think?
For a little perspective, here are some artists that I do like:
Audrey Kawasaki
Ross Campbell
James Jean
Tara McPherson
Sas and Colin Christian
Sylvia Ji
Lu Cong
A. Andrew Gonzalez
Michael Manning
There's a bunch of others but I can't think of them right now.
Glitter & Gunpowder,
Posted on Saturday May 29 2010
75 comments
A secret shame
I have something horrible to confess.
I am ashamed of myself, but I must get this off my chest.
I.... actually kind of like... Krispy Kreme.
I know! I know what you must be thinking! How could I? The name is so stupid! Crispy is spelt with a 'C', not a 'K'! And don't get me started on Cream!
It smells so sickly sweet when I walk past, it's a smell fit to make me vomit. How can people stomach those rolls of dough and sugar and sticky glaze at 7 in the morning? Yet still I see ruddy-faced office girls and boys skipping away with their box of 6 mixed donuts.
We tried them one night, after an evening of drinks. They were as I had expected - rich to the point of sickly decedance. "We won't eat these very often," was our vow.
But yesterday was such a shitty day, and my mind began to drift to Krispy Kreme's chocolate mudcake donut. I didn't know why I had started thinking about Donuts (in hindsight, it was after I'd seen an article about donuts causing cancer) but once the thought was there it wouldn't go away.
I indulged... But I can change! It's not too late! I'll just think about dimpled cellulite thighs everytime I walk past and hanker for that greasy sticky sweet mess! I can change I tell you!
Glitter & Gunpowder,
Posted on Wednesday May 26 2010
17 comments
Just a micro update to show you all a practice piece I am pretty happy with.
Drawn and painted in photoshop after listening to "The Nurse who loved me" a few times on loop.
Glitter & Gunpowder
Posted on Monday May 17 2010
88 comments
